If I could go back in time, I totally would. People always say they love their life and have no regrets; well I have a few. They made me who I am today but I wish I didn't learn about life the hard way. I wish I would have taken my mothers advice about love, school and friends. I wish I would have believed in myself more. If I could go back, I'd go back to me at 15. I wouldn't have trusted those friends, I would have kept my heart a little more guarded. I would have stayed in school, focused more while I was there.
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| November 11, 2011 - wedding day. |
I did learn to not trust people so easily, which is good in some ways. I don't let the wrong sort of people to close, and I guess I wouldn't have learned that unless I got burned. I learned not to give up my heart on a diamond en-crested platter to the first boy that says they love me. Which was probably the hardest lesson to learn. It took me a very long time to no longer feel numb. That broken heart I was left with lead me to the man of my dreams. Which is also good that it happened, or I wouldn't have married my truly amazing husband; and birthed the radest kid in town. Still doesn't make it hurt any less. I learned that someone that isn't well educated isn't very attractive. Spelling word incorrectly on purpose like "g8 , aint, gurl , dis, doe, etc..." is not cute. I also learned that no matter how badly I fall my mother will always be there to help me get back up.
I do regret many things- I guess it not only made me who I am but it lead me to better things, people, paths. My life is better than I could have ever pictured it would be because of the mistakes I wish I didn't make. Writing this I have come to the conclusion that maybe I wouldn't change my mistakes but change how I reacted to them. I would be braver, smarter, and less of a bitch. Thank you to those that were there for me through it all. I honestly adore you all.